How to Disagree (without saying “I disagree”).

Productive Conflict

How do you feel about disagreeing? Are you completely comfortable with it, or does it make you uneasy? Like it or not, the ability to disagree, is one of the most important skills in communication – particularly when it comes to communicating in professional contexts. Research shows that ‘Productive or Healthy Conflict’ is one of the key differentiators for high performing teams. In other words, we need disagreement for teams, innovation and organisations to thrive. 

Diplomacy Matters

Very often, what matters, is not what is said, but how it is said. The same applies in the case of disagreement – though the intention is to disagree, it is done in a more nuanced, diplomatic and subtle way. Here are our top 10 ways to disagree – without explicitly saying “I disagree” :

1.     I can’t agree.

2.     I beg to differ.

3.     I think we may have to agree to disagree.

4.     I’m not quite convinced.

5.     We don’t see eye to eye on this / that point / this issue.

6.     I have to take issue with you on…

7.     We’re not on the same page.

8.     It seems we’re not on the same wavelength.

9.     I fail to see you point.

10. I’m afraid that argument does not stand up to analysis.

 Cultural Context

As you can see, some of these expressions are far more nuanced than others. It’s important to consider the communication style of the culture in which you are speaking: is it more direct or more indirect? The suggestions below range from very indirect, to very direct. Find what works best for your context while expanding and enhancing your communication style, influence and impact.