English Communication: why Imperfection is Best.

The Golden Thread

People often ask me how my different work strands have in common. English training, coaching psychology, vulnerability, diversity and inclusion. They struggle to see any links, instead thinking I do multiple unrelated things. For the past ten plus years I’ve accumulated multiple work arenas, and despite how different they may look on the surface, they do in fact, have a lot in common; which in itself is a metaphor for diversity and inclusion.

The Context

Let me shed some light. For years I have worked with non-native English speakers, mainly business people, executives, as well as diplomats, people in politics and in the entertainment industries. Teaching, training, coaching. This work in itself was multifaceted, depending on the clients and their specific needs. Sometimes, speakers with lower levels needed pure English teaching, whereas higher level non-native speakers of English needed a more psychological approach to their English training.

How Psychology relates to English

Allow me to elaborate on that last point. When people ask about my English language work, they often assume it is pure English teaching. However, the vast majority of the clients I work with in this context have a pretty solid level of English, it’s their confidence that gets in the way. Fear, self-doubt and lack of confidence cripple communication.

Confidence and Communication

Effective communication is rooted in a person’s confidence, and my work has shown me that that confidence is twofold –

• confidence in one’s message, and

• confidence in one’s ability to communicate that message.

Through this lens, it’s not difficult to see how and why psychology comes into the picture. Speaking another language is not only a question of linguistic ability; speaking another language is very much a question of confidence too.

Psychological Language Training

Over the years, I’ve developed my own way of working with clients, to ensure the progress they may is not only on the surface (linguistic). We work together to address the psychological blocks that get in their way. My approach is about roots and results.

Perfection – the biggest psychological block of all

Most clients I have the pleasure of working with have a reliable speaking level, can hold comfortable conversations, present and negotiate through English. Most have the ability – albeit imperfectly. Oh Perfection, our old ‘friend.’ Yet, though we often wear perfection as a badge of honour, humbly bragging about our perfection in interviews, we all know how perfection can stifle us.

‘Perfection is the enemy of good.’

‘Perfection is the enemy of done. ‘

‘Perfection is the enemy of progress.’ – Churchill.

‘The Best, is the enemy of the good.’ – Voltaire.

‘Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.’ – Shakespeare.

There are so many versions of this saying. But perhaps Confucius phrased it ‘best’ when he said:

“Better a diamond with a flaw, than a pebble without.”

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I see the desire for perfection all the time with language clients. They’d like to have perfect English, a perfect accent, perfect grammar, the perfect vocabulary. Yet, their strive for perfection causes nothing but dismay and delay.

• Dismay, because perfection is simply unattainable.

• Delay, because they keep postponing and putting off key moments where they are required to speak English.

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So we work on their English ability, their confidence about their ability, and their desire for perfection. Speaking another language is a deeply psychological game. Indeed:

“Better a diamond with a flaw, than a pebble without.”

Indeed. Better to speak English imperfectly, than not at all.