5 Steps to Better Active Listening
What is it?
Active listening is the foundation for any successful conversation. The opposite of passive hearing, it is a pattern of listening that keeps you fully engaged with your conversation partner. It is the process (and skill!) of listening attentively while someone else speaks. It involves paraphrasing and reflecting back what is said, and withholding judgment and advice - making the other person feel heard and valued.
Key Features
According to Topornycky and Golparian, some features of Active Listening include, but are not limited to:
Neutral and non-judgmental
Patient (periods of silence are not "filled")
Verbal and nonverbal feedback to show signs of listening (e.g., smiling, eye contact, leaning in, mirroring, nodding)
Asking questions
Reflecting back what is said
Asking for clarification
Summarizing
Active Listening Versus Critical Listening
We live in an opinion-filled era. But, opinion is not always what is needed. With Active Listening, you are not evaluating the message of the other person, nor are you offering your own perspective. On the contrary, the objective is simply for the other person to be heard, and perhaps to solve their own problems. In this way, Active Listening is a non-negotiable skill for managers, leaders, coaches and the modern workplace.
Our Top 5 steps Active Listening Steps
Asking yourself honestly, of the features list outlined above, how many do you do? Do you make a conscious effort to do them? Are the on your radar at all? Fear not, we’ve chosen our top 5 steps for better Active Listening which we delve into below:
Step 1: Body language
Nodding, mirroring, leaning in, smiling, avoid arm folding, avoid slouching, maintain eye contact.
Step 2: Paraphrasing
Use your own words to mirror their points back to them. You could also use phrases such as:
In other words…
What you’re saying is…
Step 3: Summarizing
I think it would be useful to summarise where we’ve got to here…
There seem to be three or four main perspectives that you have been putting forward…
It might it be helpful if I just summarise where I think we’ve got to?
So, to summarise so far…
What I’m hearing is…
What I understand is…
Just to summarise what you’ve said…
Just to capture the points you’ve made…
Step 4: Clarifying
If I’ve understood well, you’re saying…?
Am I right in understanding…?
Can I clarify what you mean by…?
Can I check that I have really understood the points you’re making here?
Have I got that right?’
Is that a fair summary of where we seem to have got to?
Step 5: Prompting
Go on…
Tell me more…
Say more…
Uhuh…
Ok…
I see…
Don’t forget!...
Our Top Tips for practicing Active Listening:
Don’t interrupt
Quieten your inner voice
Maintain eye contact
Show interest by asking questions
Avoid abrupt topic changes
Show interest by asking questions
Practice neutrality in body language and verbal communication
Be patient!